The Human Bible







April 2012
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This week, first thing's first: is your humble host actually Santa Claus? Listen and find out!

We get up to speed on the predicted coming of Jesus and the nature of prophecy.

When was Jesus born? Was it during the reign of Harod the Great, or a couple years after Harod died, during the course of a census? The Bible seems to think... both times. But, well, which is it?

Who were the Magi—or, the "Three Wise Men"? Kings, astrologers, or something else?

Finally, the Bible speaks of going into a forest, cutting down a tree, and decking it with silver and gold. Is it describing a Christmas tree?!

All this and more on this special Christmas episode of The Human Bible!

Direct download: THB020.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:34pm EDT

This week on The Human Bible we explain some of the differences between an historian and an apologist. How do historians decide if a story comes from mythology or from reality?

A well known story in the Bible involves a mustard seed—in particular, it claims that they’re the smallest of all seeds. What’s the problem with that? Well, they are not, in fact, the smallest of all seeds. We gain some insight into how some apologists deal with that discrepancy.

We answer some great, as always, listener questions: Are Urim and Thummim the Magic 8-Ball of the Bible? When did God stop repenting, as he often does in the Old Testament?

Finally, in this week’s Is That In the Bible?!, we look to Proverbs and ask "Bribes: yea or nay?"

Direct download: THB019.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 12:41am EDT

This week on The Human Bible we get a primer on some often mispronounced and misspelled Biblical terms. Prophecy, prophesy, prophesize? Is it Book of Revelation or Book of Revelations?

During Apologetics is Never Having to Say You're Sorry, we wonder who Simon Peter was talking to when he denied knowing Jesus—and how many times did he actually do it?

As always, we answer some great listener questions:

Is it possible that the reason for some of the Bible's conflicting details about Jesus as a child are a result of there being two kids named Jesus?

Was Luke a physician—and what did it even mean to be a physician in the time of the Bible?

2 Kings 3:21: A story in which the Israelites are kicking the butts of some pagans, until one of them offers up the supreme sacrifice of his own son—to call in his god to intervene—and... it works? Is that really in the Bible?!

Direct download: THB018.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 9:28pm EDT

This week on The Human Bible we carefully examine a very important figure in the Bible—John the Baptist. What did his followers really think of Jesus? Did they welcome him, or reject him as the... anti-Christ?

In Apologetics is Never Having to Say You're Sorry, we learn about some more fascinating characters: Josephus, Eusebius, and others.

What doe the Bible say about life after death? Do righteous believers go straight to heaven, or is there a second judgement day coming later? What about Hell, and what is She'ol?

We also look at one of the, well, most awful things in the Bible: Numbers 31:13-18. Wherein Moses explains some rules of warfare and why some soldiers should kill all the women and boys they've captured, but should keep the virgin girls for themselves. What possible reason could there be for this to be found in the Bible?

Direct download: THB017.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:23pm EDT

This week we get up to speed on another Jewish sect: the Essenes. Some think the Dead Sea Scrolls are a collection of their writings—but are they really?

We examine a prophecy in Isaiah 17 which suggests Damascus is going to be turned into a ruinous heap. The problem is that it... hasn't actually happened yet.

We answer some great (as always) listener questions: one about the Bible's thoughts on poisoning adulterous women ("And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse..."), and one about what exactly the Bible means by "poor in spirit".

Finally, we look at a story in the Book of Judges about a guy called Jephthah. It involves his daughter being sacrificed—to be clear, that is, killed—as payment to God for helping Jephthah out.

Direct download: THB016.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 12:33am EDT

Lately we've been hearing a lot in the news about a recently discovered fragment of papyrus that says something about Jesus having a wife. What's to be made of that? Did he have a wife? Is the scrap of papyrus the real deal, and if so, is this huge news to biblical scholars?

We also get up to speed on an important and fascinating sect of Judaism: the Zealots. A segment not to be missed! Who were they? Was Judas Iscariot involved? You might know him as a betrayer of Jesus, but was he also a dagger wielding, contract-killing assassin? Turns out... maybe?

In this week's Apologetics is Never Having to Say You're Sorry, we examine some attempts to explain how differently Jesus is described in John and the Synoptic Gospels.

We answer some listener questions, including: What does the Bible really say about Satan? First he's a good guy helping God vet his potential followers, and then suddenly he's the embodiment of all evil? What happened?!

Finally, you're probably wondering "Does the Bible really suggest you should execute smart mouthed kids?" Oh, you weren't wondering that? Well, this week we answer it anyway.

Direct download: THB015.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:21am EDT

The Pharisees, the scribes, and the Sadducees—all names you're probably familiar with, but who the Sheol were they really? Tune in to this week's episode of The Human Bible and find out!

We also delve into several of the biggest biblical contradictions and the repercussions they have on some of the Bible's other big claims.

A close look is taken at John 18:10:

"Then Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the high priest's servant, and cut off his right ear. The servant's name was Malchus."

Why did Peter have a sword, and why didn't anyone care that he'd just cut someone's ear off?

Finally, we answer whether or not some descriptors commonly applied to God—like perfect, omniscient, and omnipresent—are actually given in the Bible.

Direct download: THB014.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:08pm EDT

This week on The Human Bible we get a little more up to speed on the Psalms-are they lyrics, poetry, or something else entirely? If they're lyrics, who was meant to sing them?!

We look into the truth, or lack of it, in an apologetic attempt to reconcile the confusing multiple genealogies of Jesus.

As always, we answer some great listener questions (Keep sending them in!): First, how do we know Jesus was a carpenter-is his resume hidden somewhere in Acts? Next, what did the Jefferson Bible (compiled by Thomas Jefferson) actually contain? What did he cut out and what did he leave in? And finally, how can you reconcile the two versions of the death of Judas in the Bible? Did he hang himself, or... explode?

Last, we ask, "Is That in the Bible?!" and look at the Bible's strange clarification that anyone who might say "Hallelujah, Jesus be damned!" is definitely not revealing true prophecy.

Special thanks to Robert, Keith, and Derek for the questions explored in today's episode!

Direct download: THB013.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:10pm EDT

This week we first get up to speed on something very fundamental: Who was Jesus, according to orthodox belief?

We delve into the multiple—and conflicting—genealogies of Jesus in this episode's "Apologetics is Never Having to Say You're Sorry."

We answer some great listener questions, including: What does the Bible say about marriage? Does it really make a big deal about it being between one man and one woman? While we're at it, what does it have to say about polygamy? Unsurprisingly, the answers may surprise you.

Finally, what did Jesus himself have to say about being the messiah? Did he ever actually make that claim? Is that really in the Bible?!

Direct download: THB012.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 8:17pm EDT

Among all the different versions, translations, and copies of the Bible, which one should you look to if you care about historical accuracy? This week's Human Bible answers that question.

We also look into a prophecy found in Revelation: The end is near! The end is near! Er, or is it? Some might argue that it depends on your definition of near, but it's been some 1900 years and we're still waiting. Listen in to find out what is actually going on here.

Of course this week we again answer a couple listener questions—one from an "escapee Jehovah's Witness" on the accuracy of the New World Translation (you might be surprised at the answer to this one), and one about possible polytheistic remains found in the Bible.

Finally, in this week's "Is That In the Bible?!" we again turn to Revelation and a story about 144,000 male virgins being redeemed by Christ (You know you want to hear the rest of that story.)

Direct download: THB011.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:55pm EDT

This week in "Up to Speed" we delve into the Psalms and learn how to actually understand what they're talking about, and where the authors were coming from. We wonder why God changes his mind so much, considering he's unchanging and all that. We answer a few listener questions: one about Noah's fascinating great-granddad Enoch, and one about the 10 Commandments-where did they come from? And 10? Why 10? The answer is much more trivial (and amusing) than you'd think. And, because we have trouble going a week without doing so, we describe another monster found in the Bible—this time it's an armor plated dragon that breathes fire. Yes, really.

Special thanks to Tim, Ryan, and Peter for submitting questions used in today's episode. 

Direct download: THB010.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 1:15am EDT

This week on The Human Bible we do some more Biblical form criticism; this time taking a look at look at parables in the Bible. We follow up on last week's 'Audience Inquisition' question: "Have you ever heard someone 'quote' something from the Bible that isn't in the Bible? If so, what was it?" We got some great answers—one of which comes from Pulp Fiction.

We answer a couple great listener questions coming from both ex-Mormons and an ex-Jehovah’s Witness on the Sacrament and on the Bible’s thoughts on earthly, rather than heavenly, rewards.

And finally, on this week’s 'Is That in the Bible?!', we look at what the Bible actually says happened between Jesus and the two others was crucified with. Criminials, sure, but were they really such jerks to Jesus?

Special thanks to AC, AnotherOakMan, Jonee, and Asa for their questions and responses used in this week's episode!

Direct download: THB009.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 3:23pm EDT

The long awaited Human Bible episode eight arrives! This week we look into some of the harsh lessons the Bible teaches, most involving some kind of horrible death. We introduce a new segment called "Audience Inquisition in which we ask you, dear listener, for some answers. This week we ask if you've ever heard someone ‘quote' something from the Bible that isn't actually in the Bible.

We also wonder where the heck the original writings that make up the Bible actually are. My first guess: the same mysterious place that entire bag of M&M's I dropped down the couch went. And, we inquire about the most distant places from Jerusalem that the Bible mentions.

And, most important of all, we break some news about the Bible and masturbation. It's good news, people. I mean, uh, it's probably good news for this one friend of mine.

Special thanks to Heather and Andrew for submitting the questioned discussed on this week's show.

Direct download: THB008.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:11pm EDT

This week on The Human Bible we learn some more about Form Criticism and how the Bible tends to repeat itself over, and over, and over. We take an in-depth and critical look at what the Bible actually has to say about homosexuality—and it might surprise you. In this week's "Apologetics is Never Having to Say You're Sorry" we examine yet another argument by C.S Lewis. This time it involves stacks of books, cucumbers, and one big false analogy. Finally, we look into what the Bible says about the afterlife—a lot of very different (and conflicting) things, it turns out.

Special thanks to Tom and Irvi for the questions answered in this week's episode.

Direct download: THB007.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 3:18pm EDT

In today's episode, we learn about Biblical Form Criticism—what does scripture have in common with knock-knock jokes and superheroes anyway? We answer a question from the Human Bible Hotline about the Epic of Gilgamesh and whether or not the Bible took some serious notes from it.

We also take a look at yet another failed prophecy in Ezekiel, wonder if Yahweh was a volcano god, and read some verses in the Bible that many people would probably like to pretend aren't there.

Direct download: THB006.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 8:03pm EDT

This week on The Human Bible we get up to speed on how the Bible wound up split into chapters and verses. Spoiler: it definitely wasn't written that way.

A called from Minnesota asks about the nature of Hell—does the Bible say it's a fiery, demon-supervised pit of eternal torment, or something closer to just a big pile of garbage? We respond to apologists who suggest that the claims the Bible makes about Jesus must be true because if they weren't, someone totally would have called them on it. We answer a listener question about the word "elohim" as it appears in the Bible—space alien, God speaking of himself in the plural, or something else? To close out the episode we have a look at reincarnation and ask, "Is That in the Bible?!"

Special thanks to Sarah (or Sam?) from Minnesota, and Jean-Michel for the questions answered in today's episode.

Direct download: THB005.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 12:13pm EDT

Today on The Human Bible, we first talk about the pivotal Biblical character Marcion of Pontus and what he had to do with the formation of the New Testament. We read from and discuss one of the Bible's best erotic poems, the Song of Solomon. (Yes, you read that correctly.) In this week's Prophetic Scorecard, we wonder how Jesus managed to mess up that whole the world ending in his generation thing and what we can learn from it. And, we answer a listener question about the concept of grace and what the Bible really has to say about it.

Special thanks to Steven and Simon for the questions answered in today's episode.

Direct download: THB004.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:12pm EDT

Episode three of The Human Bible is here! Today, we get up to speed on the many names of God—can't he just pick one already? We answer questions on plagues and virgin births, wonder where C.S. Lewis came up with some of that stuff, and read into the verse that claims Paul took over for Jesus when he wasn't quite suffering enough—wait, what? Don't miss it!

Direct download: THB003.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:13pm EDT

It's episode two of The Human Bible! In this episode, we answer listener questions about unicorns and dragons, learn about the Old Testament's sources, premiere a new segment called "Apologetics Is Never Having to Say You're Sorry," and ask whether or not the Bible thinks human sacrifice is A-ok!

Special thanks to Travis from Virginia, Buck Malone, and Iron Jack for the questions featured in today's episode. 

Direct download: THB002.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 9:25pm EDT

It's the first episode of The Human Bible! Join host Robert Price as he answers listener questions and devles into regular segments like "Prophetic Scorecard" and "Is That in the Bible?!"

We'll cover everything from the Q Source (including explaining what the heck that means) to that one time God wanted to kill Moses for having foreskin. It's not to be missed!

Direct download: THB001.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 1:29pm EDT