The Human Bible







January 2019
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Lately we've been hearing a lot in the news about a recently discovered fragment of papyrus that says something about Jesus having a wife. What's to be made of that? Did he have a wife? Is the scrap of papyrus the real deal, and if so, is this huge news to biblical scholars?

We also get up to speed on an important and fascinating sect of Judaism: the Zealots. A segment not to be missed! Who were they? Was Judas Iscariot involved? You might know him as a betrayer of Jesus, but was he also a dagger wielding, contract-killing assassin? Turns out... maybe?

In this week's Apologetics is Never Having to Say You're Sorry, we examine some attempts to explain how differently Jesus is described in John and the Synoptic Gospels.

We answer some listener questions, including: What does the Bible really say about Satan? First he's a good guy helping God vet his potential followers, and then suddenly he's the embodiment of all evil? What happened?!

Finally, you're probably wondering "Does the Bible really suggest you should execute smart mouthed kids?" Oh, you weren't wondering that? Well, this week we answer it anyway.

Direct download: THB015.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:21am EST

The Pharisees, the scribes, and the Sadducees—all names you're probably familiar with, but who the Sheol were they really? Tune in to this week's episode of The Human Bible and find out!

We also delve into several of the biggest biblical contradictions and the repercussions they have on some of the Bible's other big claims.

A close look is taken at John 18:10:

"Then Simon Peter having a sword drew it, and smote the high priest's servant, and cut off his right ear. The servant's name was Malchus."

Why did Peter have a sword, and why didn't anyone care that he'd just cut someone's ear off?

Finally, we answer whether or not some descriptors commonly applied to God—like perfect, omniscient, and omnipresent—are actually given in the Bible.

Direct download: THB014.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:08pm EST

This week on The Human Bible we get a little more up to speed on the Psalms-are they lyrics, poetry, or something else entirely? If they're lyrics, who was meant to sing them?!

We look into the truth, or lack of it, in an apologetic attempt to reconcile the confusing multiple genealogies of Jesus.

As always, we answer some great listener questions (Keep sending them in!): First, how do we know Jesus was a carpenter-is his resume hidden somewhere in Acts? Next, what did the Jefferson Bible (compiled by Thomas Jefferson) actually contain? What did he cut out and what did he leave in? And finally, how can you reconcile the two versions of the death of Judas in the Bible? Did he hang himself, or... explode?

Last, we ask, "Is That in the Bible?!" and look at the Bible's strange clarification that anyone who might say "Hallelujah, Jesus be damned!" is definitely not revealing true prophecy.

Special thanks to Robert, Keith, and Derek for the questions explored in today's episode!

Direct download: THB013.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:10pm EST

This week we first get up to speed on something very fundamental: Who was Jesus, according to orthodox belief?

We delve into the multiple—and conflicting—genealogies of Jesus in this episode's "Apologetics is Never Having to Say You're Sorry."

We answer some great listener questions, including: What does the Bible say about marriage? Does it really make a big deal about it being between one man and one woman? While we're at it, what does it have to say about polygamy? Unsurprisingly, the answers may surprise you.

Finally, what did Jesus himself have to say about being the messiah? Did he ever actually make that claim? Is that really in the Bible?!

Direct download: THB012.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 8:17pm EST

Among all the different versions, translations, and copies of the Bible, which one should you look to if you care about historical accuracy? This week's Human Bible answers that question.

We also look into a prophecy found in Revelation: The end is near! The end is near! Er, or is it? Some might argue that it depends on your definition of near, but it's been some 1900 years and we're still waiting. Listen in to find out what is actually going on here.

Of course this week we again answer a couple listener questions—one from an "escapee Jehovah's Witness" on the accuracy of the New World Translation (you might be surprised at the answer to this one), and one about possible polytheistic remains found in the Bible.

Finally, in this week's "Is That In the Bible?!" we again turn to Revelation and a story about 144,000 male virgins being redeemed by Christ (You know you want to hear the rest of that story.)

Direct download: THB011.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:55pm EST

This week in "Up to Speed" we delve into the Psalms and learn how to actually understand what they're talking about, and where the authors were coming from. We wonder why God changes his mind so much, considering he's unchanging and all that. We answer a few listener questions: one about Noah's fascinating great-granddad Enoch, and one about the 10 Commandments-where did they come from? And 10? Why 10? The answer is much more trivial (and amusing) than you'd think. And, because we have trouble going a week without doing so, we describe another monster found in the Bible—this time it's an armor plated dragon that breathes fire. Yes, really.

Special thanks to Tim, Ryan, and Peter for submitting questions used in today's episode. 

Direct download: THB010.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 1:15am EST

This week on The Human Bible we do some more Biblical form criticism; this time taking a look at look at parables in the Bible. We follow up on last week's 'Audience Inquisition' question: "Have you ever heard someone 'quote' something from the Bible that isn't in the Bible? If so, what was it?" We got some great answers—one of which comes from Pulp Fiction.

We answer a couple great listener questions coming from both ex-Mormons and an ex-Jehovah’s Witness on the Sacrament and on the Bible’s thoughts on earthly, rather than heavenly, rewards.

And finally, on this week’s 'Is That in the Bible?!', we look at what the Bible actually says happened between Jesus and the two others was crucified with. Criminials, sure, but were they really such jerks to Jesus?

Special thanks to AC, AnotherOakMan, Jonee, and Asa for their questions and responses used in this week's episode!

Direct download: THB009.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 3:23pm EST

The long awaited Human Bible episode eight arrives! This week we look into some of the harsh lessons the Bible teaches, most involving some kind of horrible death. We introduce a new segment called "Audience Inquisition in which we ask you, dear listener, for some answers. This week we ask if you've ever heard someone ‘quote' something from the Bible that isn't actually in the Bible.

We also wonder where the heck the original writings that make up the Bible actually are. My first guess: the same mysterious place that entire bag of M&M's I dropped down the couch went. And, we inquire about the most distant places from Jerusalem that the Bible mentions.

And, most important of all, we break some news about the Bible and masturbation. It's good news, people. I mean, uh, it's probably good news for this one friend of mine.

Special thanks to Heather and Andrew for submitting the questioned discussed on this week's show.

Direct download: THB008.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:11pm EST

This week on The Human Bible we learn some more about Form Criticism and how the Bible tends to repeat itself over, and over, and over. We take an in-depth and critical look at what the Bible actually has to say about homosexuality—and it might surprise you. In this week's "Apologetics is Never Having to Say You're Sorry" we examine yet another argument by C.S Lewis. This time it involves stacks of books, cucumbers, and one big false analogy. Finally, we look into what the Bible says about the afterlife—a lot of very different (and conflicting) things, it turns out.

Special thanks to Tom and Irvi for the questions answered in this week's episode.

Direct download: THB007.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 3:18pm EST

In today's episode, we learn about Biblical Form Criticism—what does scripture have in common with knock-knock jokes and superheroes anyway? We answer a question from the Human Bible Hotline about the Epic of Gilgamesh and whether or not the Bible took some serious notes from it.

We also take a look at yet another failed prophecy in Ezekiel, wonder if Yahweh was a volcano god, and read some verses in the Bible that many people would probably like to pretend aren't there.

Direct download: THB006.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 8:03pm EST